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Discover our 18+ handmade cotton towels with very edgy humor and one-of-a-kind color variations.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"b-tch-i-will-put-you-in-a-trunk-help-people-look-for-you-towel","title":"B*tch, I Will Put You in a Trunk \u0026 Help People Look for You Towel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel,\u003c\/span\u003e features an embroidered, dark-humor phrase, \"Bitch, I will put you in a trunk and help people look for you.\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s made for those who appreciate sarcasm with their home décor.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46854800343209,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46854800375977,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46928801628329,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/20260314_172504.jpg?v=1774084481"},{"product_id":"decorative-dowel-your-grandmother-should-have","title":"Decorative Towel","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \" Don't Fucking use my Decorative towels!\" I always knew better than to use them but some people need reminding. Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a witty, eye-catching accent for everyday use or gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46854808633513,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46854808666281,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46854808731817,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/decorativetoweledit_4485a7af-ecb0-4fdd-8049-c385f594cbb5.jpg?v=1772812860"},{"product_id":"cunt-cake","title":"Cunt Cake","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \" don't be a Cunt Cake\" Edgy fun for all the adults. Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a witty, eye-catching accent for everyday use or gifting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46866914869417,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46866914902185,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46866914934953,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/cunt_cake1.jpg?v=1773324929"},{"product_id":"flying-fu-k","title":"Flying Fu*k","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e features an embroidered the phrase \" Fold your worries into paper airplanes and turn them info Flying Fucks.\" edgy fun, if you got them let them fly. Makes a great gift for that special someone! Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a fun statement piece for everyday use or gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ Cotton","offer_id":46865469571241,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black \/ Terrycloth","offer_id":46865469604009,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ Velour","offer_id":46865469636777,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Cream \/ Cotton","offer_id":46865469669545,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Cream \/ Terrycloth","offer_id":46865469702313,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream \/ Velour","offer_id":46865469735081,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Grey \/ Cotton","offer_id":46865469767849,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Grey \/ Terrycloth","offer_id":46865469800617,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey \/ Velour","offer_id":46865469833385,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/flyingfuckc.jpg?v=1773324748"},{"product_id":"good-morning","title":"Good Morning","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e features an embroidered sun graphic and the phrase \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-end=\"240\" data-start=\"192\"\u003e“Here we Fucking go again - I mean Good Morning.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a fun statement piece for everyday use or gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46868562542761,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46868562575529,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46868562608297,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/20260325_1049571.jpg?v=1775736681"},{"product_id":"f-ktart","title":"F#%ktart","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase Don't be a Fucktart\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, It's made for those that like to fully express themselves. Great for that special someone who needs it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46868446609577,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46868446642345,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46868446675113,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/fucktarts_cover.jpg?v=1773350909"},{"product_id":"i-hate-people","title":"I hate people","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered lazy rabbit graphic and the phrase \" I fucking hate everyone so much\" Edgy fun for all the adults. Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a witty, eye-catching accent for everyday use or gifting.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46868516864169,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46868516896937,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46868516929705,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/I_hate_people_Clean.jpg?v=1775736962"},{"product_id":"super-f-k","title":"Super F@%k","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase You can just Supercalifuckilistickissmyassadocious\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, It's made for those that like to fully express themselves. Great for that special someone who needs it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46929345216681,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46929345249449,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46929345282217,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/super_F_Clean.jpg?v=1775737529"},{"product_id":"wise-woman","title":"Wise Woman","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \"A wise woman once said Fuck this Shit, and lived Happily ever after.\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, It's made for those that like to fully express themselves. Great for that special someone who needs it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46932491174057,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46932491206825,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46932491239593,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/wisewoman10.jpg?v=1774779367"},{"product_id":"cum-rag","title":"Cum Rag","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \"Cum Rag.\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, It's perfect for when guest are coming for the bedside table or guest bath. Great for that special someone who needs it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46938906198185,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46938906230953,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":46938906263721,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/cumragc.jpg?v=1774778683"},{"product_id":"like-mom-always-said","title":"Like Mom always said...","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e features an embroidered phrase, \" Like Mom always says what the FUCK is wrong with you\". Soft, absorbent, and machine washable. We all know those special people in our lives that deserve this towel. I do offer a bulk rate if you need lots of them. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46938907279529,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46938907312297,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":46938907345065,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/mom_says_clean.jpg?v=1775737335"},{"product_id":"i-suck-at-apologies","title":"I suck at Apologies","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"192\" data-end=\"240\"\u003e“I suck at apologies so unfuck you or whatever.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, it’s a fun statement piece for anytime you need to say sorry.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46938916716713,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46938916749481,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46938916782249,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/unfuckyouB1.jpg?v=1774780361"},{"product_id":"take-a-deep-breath","title":"TAKE A DEEP BREATH","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis 100% cotton terry velour 16x26 hand towel, features an embroidered graphic and the phrase \"Take a deep breath and REMEMBER who the Fuck you are!\" Soft, absorbent, and machine washable, It's made for those that like to fully express themselves. Great for that special someone who needs it\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dry Humor","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":46938937917609,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cream","offer_id":46938937950377,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Grey","offer_id":46938937983145,"sku":null,"price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/files\/who_TF.jpg?v=1775986147"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0730\/6684\/0233\/collections\/ChatGPTImageFeb3_2026_04_06_14PM.jpg?v=1770156040","url":"https:\/\/dryhumorshop.com\/collections\/18-collection.oembed","provider":"Dry Humor","version":"1.0","type":"link"}